How much to discipline and how much to be flexible

Permissive parenting is parenting with very ambiguous and fuzzy boundaries at most times. The concept being,  Parenting which is permissive by nature. Allowing or giving permission to your child for a lot of things and therefore rendering a certain flexibility to bend the rules, as long as they are not serious, hard rules that have consequences when broken.

To discipline is good, to be harsh is not good unless it’s rare, to be too soft or a ‘push-over’ as they would term it in cool-lingo, is not good either. So the answer lies in the balance. Just as Lord Buddha believed that one must take the middle path, similarly, as a parent, taking the middle path in discipline is the most sensible and is the brightest form of disciplining your child as well.

An example: Allowing a child who is a teenager between ages 13-16 to go out at night, until midnight or one am, for a special occasion, as long as you are aware of his/her whereabouts and necessary details, is part of a flexible parenting method. This is sometimes, essential to encourage your child. Allowing that same child to go out every weekend, as a teenager, until midnight or more, is part of a too-flexible parenting method. This would be uncalled for, as your child could get encouraged into habits that are as unhealthy and unrequired as this method of parenting itself

Where you can discipline your child with warmth, do so! Your child may completely understand when he/she knows that you are talking to him/her as an adult and will respect your sentiment. If each time that you explain to your child, you do so by raising your voice, then the effect of it fades away. It is like crying wolf. After that, when you actually do have a reason to yell and you do so, your child may act against your rules. And this, is not in any way a good parenting way. Good parenting is an art form. Like art concepts keep evolving, so do permissive parenting rules and tips. What is acceptable today may simply not have been close to acceptable in the 90’s. We live in the broad spectrum-era and we have to think like the they  do. Permissive parenting is all about encouraging your child in right amounts and discouraging habits that are intrusive and disciplinary actions which are situation based. Whoever thought allowing your teenager to have a mobile was alright to do? But today, it is not frowned upon. An advice to give all parents regarding their children is to remember the quote by James Arthur Baldwin : “Children have never been very good at listening to their elders, but they have never failed to imitate them.”

Give children inspiration and impart warm, good advice and discipline to them. Also, most importantly, make sure you set a good example for them by being the best that you can be and by often, practicing what you preach because their imitation of  you is a good glance at the person they hope to become.